8 months strong 

I can’t remember the last time I was able to say I was in a relationship. Since my ex of almost 9 years I haven’t really gotten into anything that I can call serious. 
It’s crazy to me that I’ve made it to 8 whole months with Mr. Officer. As we all know dating sucks. I spent most of my 20’s being single because I was not at all interested in dating and I’ve spent my 30’slooking for someone to spend my life with. 

When you’re in your 20s, deal breakers tend to be pretty superficial. It might boil down to what music they like, a dumb haircut, or a subtly annoying nervous tick. If you’re smart, you learn to ignore these things and be more open-minded. 

In your 30’s its a whole different ball game. The deal breakers change and become more serious. In your 30’s you realize, shit I can’t be alone forever and not to say that being alone is all that awful for some. 

Men and women both don’t take relationships seriously. It’s all about the hook up and that instant gratification. I look back at some of my blog posts and think,”I really went through that in dating”? Yep, I sure did. 

Mr. Officer really came out of the blue into my life. When I was putting myself back out into the dating market I was not expecting to find someone as quickly as I did. I was expecting to go through the same rollercoster ride I did before I met him. It’s still so ironic how he just came into my life, all unexpectedly. I’m not complaining, but I’m still in shock. 

Although it’s been 8 months, I can’t it’s been compete bliss, because the reality is it hasn’t. But it also hasn’t been that bad. Mr. Officer has his flaws as do I and as do we all. In the end the most important thing is weather or not we are willing to accept the flaws. Relationships take hard work and some people just aren’t cut out for that type of work. Luckily for me I found someone who is willing to put in the effort and work at it… 

The kid in the middle 

The other day I had a client tell me how they didn’t feel like they belonged with their family. They spoke about how the older sibling was the leader and the younger sibling was the more fun one. Of course I knew exactly the feeling so it made my job easier and it turned into a session for the both of us. 

Distinct personalities exist within every family. Sure there are some physical resemblances, some emotional similarities. But each are unique.   

I’m starting to buy more and more into the whole birth order thing. You know, the one that says the first born is responsible, driven, protective. The second is the wild, daring, kick ass and take charge type. The third is random, spontaneous, fun. Not much literature on the fourth or fifth because most sane families stop way before that.

I know personally for me being in the middle was never fun. I never felt as though I belonged and I was always trying to seek attention.

To this day as a grown ass adult I still don’t feel like I belong especially, within my family. I think it’ll be a feeling that will always be there and I’ve learned how to just deal. 

As an adult, it seems odd that I resented being the middle child. I love my siblings  and I’m glad there are three of us. 

If you ask me how being a middle child shaped my personality I’m not sure I could explain it. I know I went out of my way to be as different from my older sibling as possible because I wanted to be my own person and not just “The little sister.” I remember wanting to protect my younger sister; I was quick to always take the blame for her. Thinking about it now, it seems like I got the best of both worlds by being both an older and a younger sibling. Yet I know I didn’t always feel this way. 

Operation Bitch

  
“Artwork by crazy London boy to Frenchie”.

Well I’ve gotten a lot of emails asking me where the fuck I’ve been? 

I’ve been in blissful land haha! Not really. I wish I was!! It sounds pretty good right about now. 

Truthfully I’ve been MIA because so much has been happening. 

Friends have needed advice, I’ve needed advice, work has been demanding, my fur babies have been demanding and shits just been crazy. 

Literally crazy. My ex, crazy London boy, has decided that after almost 5 months it’s a good idea to contact me. Yea really? What a fucking goober. I mean I can’t make this shit up. 

London boy has created such chaos in my life that’s it’s absurd. How the fuck do you break up with someone and they haunt you? Oh right because they ARE MENTALLY INSANE. Insanity is a disease. 

My friend decided that Facebook stalking was the new trend and well she found out that he’s not only telling me he loves me but he’s also telling his new French girlfriend, AKA Frenchie, how much he loves her! Hahaha poor Frenchie. 

So I’ve debated on being a bitch right back at him and ratting his ass out to his girlfriend but truthfully, can I really be bothered to deal with ignorance? 

I guess it would be fun for shits and giggles however high class makes me wait until the next email hits the inbox… After that…. It’ll become Operation Bitch.

New year, new guy, new dog…

  
Well happy New Years to everyone! I think New Years is an awesome time of year! 

I’m not very big on New Years resolutions only because I typically don’t make it past two days into the new year and I’m already back into my old ways. 

What I do love about New Years is the reflection. I took a week off of work which was much needed and I reflected! 

I looked back at 2015 and all the wonderful and not so wonderful things it taught me and brought into my life. 

I think 2015 started off rocky for me but it certainly ended amazing. 

If you’ve all been keeping up with my blog you’ve read about all the awful relationships I went through! I mean awful! 

And two months ago it all changed! 

Mr. Officer and I are still going strong. He’s amazing in so many ways I can’t even begin to mention all of them. I feel lucky to have found him and I’m beyond excited to see what our furture holds!

In 2015 I got my little guy mason who has been one of the most rewarding and stable relationships in my life! Masons my main guy. He loves me unconditionally. And so because I’ve found so much joy in having Mason and being his mom I’ve decided to adopt another dog! I’m super excited to pick her up this weekend. What makes Maddie my new fur-family addiction so special is that Mr. Officer and I are adopting her together. 

Sounds weird doesn’t it? To get a dog with a boyfriend well it’s not. We both fell in love with her at first sight and she’ll be our very own furchild! Maybe I’ll start a trend or maybe I’m just following an already prexisting trend but I’ve never adopted a dog with anyone and it’s a pretty big commitment.

Ahhh… The big word commitment! I’ve feared commitment for many years hence why I’ve single for many years. Yet in 2015 I made commitments I never thought I would. It’s funny because the word commitment no longer gives me anxiety especially when it comes to Mr. Officer. In fact I’m in a committed relationship and we have long term goals set together…. And I’m ok!

Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be….

  

Meeting the mom…

  

Meeting your boyfriends parents can be such a nerve racking experience. Especially when it means coming face to face with with the most important woman in his life…his mother!!! After all most men and this is true for my man, hold their mothers in high regards, almost to a standard that most women can’t meet. 

Mr. Officer has an amazing ability to make me feel special everyday. So when he said to me “I want you to know how serious I am about you and I want you to meet my mom”… I secretly freaked out. I freaked out because meeting my boyfriends mom is scary! I got a racing heart, sweaty palms, and I felt like I was going to say something to just fuck it all up. 

The first time he asked me to meet his mom, I made up some excuse but the second time I had no excuse. Since the first time he asked me I had mentally prepared myself to eventually meet her. 

To me, moms are judgmental because they are moms. Believe me I would be too if I was a mom. Moms tend to have a strong sixth sense about people who their children are dating and of course no one wants to fall into the “do not date” category. 

I was so nervous and I was expecting to be integrated. But I put on my big girl pants and headed out to dinner and well it wasn’t so bad. She didn’t integrate me and it was a pretty good time. Mr. Officer helped the situation too because he didn’t hide his love for me. I felt better having checked that off our list of things to do while you date someone. 

I think I made a pretty good first  impression. She asked me typical things such as what I do for work, about my family and how we both met. I felt comfortable by the end of the night. Luckily for me I haven’t had to meet too many moms in my life and I hope I don’t have to meet anymore after this…

I’m enjoying my time with Mr. Officer and I know he’s enjoying his time with me. I told him the other day how I haven’t had someone like him ever… Which in reality I haven’t. What I have had were men who had no idea on how to be men. 

I was talking to my friend who’s been dating a guy for a little longer then I’ve been dating Mr. Officer and the other night we finally had a chance to sit down and compare notes on our new found loves… She shared how she felt jealous because my new found love seems to be more meaningful then hers… I’ve said this before I don’t think it’s fair to compare relationships and everyone deserves a chance but in my case I do feel lucky. I found someone who fills my love tank completely and I am going to enjoy every moment of it… 

I consider myself lucky to have found Mr. Officer for many reasons but one most important reason is he’s surely helped me realize that setting my standards high isn’t unattainable….
 

A man in love…

  
Sometimes as people we make things complicated. We tend to look at the negative things in life and in turn it creates a negative mind, negative relationships and a negative outlook. 

Most of my friends are single with the exception of the select few who are in long term relationships. It’s beyond interesting to me how there are so many single young women in the world. Is there a shortage of good men? And if there isn’t then why are so many fabulous women single? 

My friend has been struggling with her relationship. She’s been with her guy for 3 years now and although from my perspective he seems like a nice guy, to her he’s not fulfilling the love she’s craving and needing. 

I understand and fully accept that no one is perfect and if you’re out there looking for perfection then you may just be single forever. In my years of dating I’ve learned that it’s great to have standards in the person you’re looking to spend the rest of your life with but it’s also okay to find someone who fits those standards with somethings that you may not necessarily like. Maybe he plays video games all day on his day off or maybe his way of showing love isn’t showering you with gifts but instead he’s affectionate? 

We all give and recieve love in different forms. Personally for me I’m a needy person when it comes to love, I desire love in all forms but I also give love in all forms. 

Back to my friend. She’s struggling as I would be too. It’s amazing the first few months of a relationship where the romance is sky high and the loves just growing and growing. But what happens when the relationship gets older and you’re no longer having your honeymoon? I honestly don’t know! I haven’t been in a relationship long enough to to know with the expectation of my almost 9 year relationship where we fell into a rut. Unfortunately for me, most of my relationships end after the honeymoon phase and some don’t make it past a month. I’ve often times blamed myself for relationships going sour but truthfully I know it’s not me. 

My friend made a valid point in our conversation today, “he doesn’t act like a man in love”. I thought about her comment and thought to myself “what does a man in love act like”? Clearly she’s not happy and maybe it’s a temporary unhappy but I know for me, personally, being happy and in love are my two main life goals. 

I asked my go to male friend what does a man in love act like? His response was simple, “a man in love, loves you the way you need to be loved”. Wow what an amazing yet simple response. 

My friend is right about her feelings and wanting to be loved the way she wants and deserves to be loved, yet when she asked her boyfriend “do you love me?” And his response was “yes”. Then why is it so complicated for him to act like a man in love? 

“Some type of love”

  

I’m excited! I have butterflies and I’m happy! 

A week ago a lot happened. A week ago London boy stopped by and we spoke. I finally got the closure I needed to move on. We agreed to both learn and move on from the crazy relationship we once had. It was great to finally get that chapter of my life closed for good. And a week ago I went on a date. An amazing first date ever! 

Pizza and wine while watching some trashy tv! It couldn’t not have been better! We spoke, we shared secrets, we laughed, we cuddled, we kissed… It was absolutely amazing. He brought me roses! Colorful roses to match my colorful personality. Let’s call him Mr. Officer. 

Mr. Officer makes me feel like I’m on cloud 9! I haven’t felt romance in such a long time that I’m beginning to like it. And to think this man feels the same for me! How is that I go from a shitty situation to an amazing situation so quickly? I’m still in awe over this. 

I was telling my friends how even though London boy and I broke up a month ago I feel guilty, like I should be mourning the loss of that crazy relationship yet I’m on cloud 9 with Mr. Officer? It’s so wrong but yet so right! 

The fact that there’s so much romance and so much lust between Mr. Officer and I, it just makes it so right. We’ve been almost inseparable. 

I spoke to my sister about the whole situation and needed advice after Mr. Officer questioned whether or not he was a rebound? In my heart I knew no but in my mind I didn’t know…. 

My sister who’s certainly the most sensible between us told me “no way he’s not a rebound”. She shared her experience with her husband and reminded me that London was my summer fling. I was assured that Mr. Officer is not a rebound. 

It’s not fair to compare relationships but I’m only human and I can honestly say that my relationship with Mr. Officer is way better sexually, emotionally and physically then the relationship I once had with London boy.

My best memory thus far with Mr. Officer has has been every moment spent with him. Although it’s too soon to know where this chapter is going to lead I’m excited to see what my next love chapter holds.. I’m even more excited that I’ve met someone who’s willing to write the next chapter with me….

To be continued…..