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Mothers Day 


I’d like to start by saying…Happy Mother’s Day to the amazing mamas out there! I hope your day was as wonderful as you all are to your children. 

At 34, with no real human children I’ve come to the realization that I may never be a mom to my own children one day. Sounds sad doesn’t it? Well it isn’t!! It isn’t because on this Mother’s Day I may not be a mom to human children of my own but I am a mother to three amazing dogs and two cats (can’t forget them) who I love beyond words. 

My pets are my children. Without me they wouldn’t be fed, clothed, bathed, walked or taken to doctor visits. 

On Facebook I saw many, many, many, nasty posts about dog moms not being “real moms”. The truth is we aren’t “real moms” to human children but we are in many other ways. What I thought was even more interesting was that here are these awful “adults” making negative, hateful remarks on social media but my “clients” (all children) all wished me a happy fur mama mothers days! So it goes to show how adults create evil adults. Children have more respect and understanding then most “adults” think they do. 

My pets are my world and without them I would never have learned real compassion, real love, and most importantly real happiness. I’m a true and avid animal lover, always have been and it took me awhile to build my little animal family….. but I wouldn’t trade it for the world because they are my whole world and my whole heart. 

So just enjoy being a mom weather you’re a mom to biological children, a step mom, a foster mom or a fur baby mom. Just enjoy it. Everyday is your day. Without our two or four legged children our lives would be miserable just as it is for those hateful “adults” who hide behind their social media!




My world! 🙌🏽🐱🐶

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Finding love ❤️ 


The journey of finding the one true love is not an easy journey. Most people are lucky and find it right away but others take a lifetime. 

Today an older friend of mine was talking about finding love. The older you get the more difficult it becomes. Why is that? Maybe people are too set in their ways or maybe your standards are too high the older you get. 

The truth is finding love at any age is difficult. In your 20s want you consider to be love may not be what love is to you in 30s or even in your 40s. 

For me finding love was a very difficult and a bumpy journey. There were too many frogs and not enough princes. 

Real love is something we do. It is not a feeling; it is not primarily (or even secondarily) something we feel. Real love is about being loving much more than being loved.

But even when you find love. It’s still a job within itself. You work to find love and then work even harder to keep it. Who ever said love was easy was clearly not in love. 

Because real love is effortful, real love is often difficult; real love takes work, requires attention, dedication, requires inner work—requires us to work on ourselves and in many ways significantly rewire parts of our self. And this is an ongoing and lengthy process.

What I learned in my process of finding love was to work on myself. Particularly my inner self. It’s all about learning to allow love in and allowing yourself to be vulnerable… 

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Kindness 


The world we live in today is far from kind. People are very self involved and there are very few people who are willing to help. 

With that said this weekend a kind act was done. 

Being in the social work field my kindness gets over looked everyday. Everyday I deal with horrible parents, needy adults and children who have no sense of respect. It’s actually quite sad to see how parents choices can totally mess up a little living creature, to the point where I’m like,”how the heck did you create this”? This holds true not just for children but also for animals. 

In the last few years I’ve found out how much I truly love animals. I’ve always loved animals but after I adopted Mason my first dog from a high kill shelter, I was in complete shock at how the human race is the most disgusting race. Mason had no trust in humans, he was extremely underweight, had black teeth and a fractured leg. Once I was able to get Mason back to a healthy dog he started to trust humans again, got to his healthy weight and he was running around on a healthy leg. It wasn’t easy and it took lots of time, patience and money, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.  I would rescue him over and over again, because he brought me something I never knew was capable…. unconditionally love. 

Last week I came across a young girl, 18 years old selling two dogs on Facebook. I couldn’t believe it but when I went Friday night to see the dogs it was almost as if I saw Mason all over again. I told the young girl that I would get back to her. That night I slept nothing. I couldn’t stop thinking  about how sick the dogs looked. She also had mentioned the dogs had been sleeping in the car…. as she slept with her family in a hotel room. I was beyond shocked that this 18 year old girl and her mother would allow this. On Saturday I drove by the hotel and the dogs were in the hot car, as the family was cooling off in the pool. It was close to 90 degrees on Saturday. I immediately called animal control and after hours of waiting around they never showed up. So once again the human race let down these poor animals. 

I then contacted the rescue group where I adopted my other two dogs and they were so kind to take in these dogs. 

I messaged the family back and gave them their $200 as I drove two hours with the dogs to drop them off at the rescue group. 

I’m beyond greatful that the rescue group, For the Love of Poodles, took in these two loving dogs. 

The dogs were so well behaved and so loving towards me and my fiancé…. it was almost as if they knew they were being rescued. I was greatful to have met them and even more greatful they allowed me to help. 

I can’t say how much I really and truly appreciate this rescue group that I came across almost two years and where I rescued my two favorite girlfriends Maddie and Minnie. For the Love of Poodles, really does a great job with their animals and I can honestly say they go above and beyond to help every animal that comes through their doors. 

If you can find in your heart, please donate to this amazing rescue… 

http://www.fortheloveofpoodlesrescuerva.com/donate.html


Two top picturs are of Blue and two bottom pictures are of Casper after they were rescued and all showered… so fresh so clean. Good luck to these sweet boys….if you’re interested in adopting a best friend please check out http://www.fortheloveofpoodlesrescuerva.com/. 

In the end I can’t keep the two dogs that I saved from the horrible life they were living but I can sleep at night knowing they are safe and I know to them my kind act did not go unnoticed…. 

#adoptdontshop #adoptionisthebestoption 

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The bad really bad date..


I use to blog about my horrid dating life because I just couldn’t believe how fucked up men where. When I was dating it almost felt like every date was a nightmare. Now that I’m engaged, I’m glad to no longer be living those nightmares. 

My friends however haven’t been as lucky as I was to have found love. 

Yesterday I was talking to my friend J. I was having a crisis Friday night and needed some advice from her. Little did I know she was having her own crisis. We finally had a chance to catch up yesterday and she filled me in.

She’s been dating this guy, let’s call him Don the dummy, for about a month now. Friday night they planned to meet. Since J and Don live far they met in the between from where they both live. 

As she’s sitting there enjoying her date he decided he had to go to the bathroom. While Don was doing is dirty shit in the bathroom J was approached by some girl. Oh no! 

This girl calmly explained to J  she has been dating Don for 4 months. Yes 4 fucking months!! J was mortified, just as I was as she was telling me the story. I couldn’t fucking believe it!!!! 

J was smart, walked away and decided to leave the dirty work to Don the dummy’s 4 month girl, who clearly handled it. As J walked away she overheard Don’s 4 month girl yelling at him and threatening to smack to him. 

I’ve had my share of horrible dates and horrible men but this, this tops it! Don was a big fucking dummy to suggest that he and J meet up in the same town where his 4 month girl lives!!! So not only is Don a horrible playa but he is the poster man of what a true DUMMY is. 

I told J not to give up because prior to meeting my amazing fiancé, I use to go on horrible those dates and I would just continue to put myself out there. Dating sucks. It’s slim picking in the ocean of men. J will certainly continue on her dating adventure because after all the bad fish, eventually a good fish will bite and you can ring him in!! 

❤️

Feyonce


Today I was talking to a friend about life. Our goals and our desires. Both being in our 30s it’s not as easy to just pick up and leave to start over somewhere magical, as it was in your 20s. 
I have moved A SHIT TON throughout my life. At 16 I moved to Portugal.  At 19 I packed up and moved to England for college. At 23 I moved back to New Jersey and at 29 I packed up and moved to D.C.  I literally knew no one. I packed up my small ass car, filled with my belongings, my two cats and I drove to find adventure. 

I had no job and no damn goal set. I just needed the change and the adventure. 

It wasn’t until after 4 years of living in D.C. that I was able to find a reason to stay. My amazing fiancé. I’ve stuck around D.C. because love has kept me here. 

A couple years ago I blogged about my awful dating experiences and now I can blog about LOVE!!! 

Prior to meeting my fiancé I had the adventure itch, to pack up again and move and I was close to doing it but, then I met him. 

I’ll never forget our first date. I was sick and tired of dating these fucking losers that I really had no expectations with him. I was like, whatever just another date and another blog post. 

My mom knew I was getting pretty tired of scrummaging through the garbage of men that kept coming my way and her advice was to have no expectations going into any date. That actually worked because here I am now, engaged to my BFF. 

Our first date I had him come over to have wine and pizza. Clearly having random men come to my house isn’t a norm for me. I use to be a very cautious dater. Men are crazy. The date was one of the best dates I ever had. It was relaxed and we were able to actually talk with no distractions. We got to know each other and it was like we never not knew each other. We clicked instantly. Maybe it was the relaxed senerio, maybe the wine or maybe it was just fate. 

Whatever it was it’s been great and I’m lucky to have found someone like him to support my neurotic behaviors, my life goals and love me completely for who I am. 

With my fiancé I have learned that love isn’t about wanting to change or mold the other person, it’s about really, truly and unconditionally accepting someone for who they are, flaws and all. I’ve learned that from now on it’s about growing together, adventures and all! 

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Crazy who me? 


Have you ever wondered why when you meet someone they always put the blame on the end of the relationship on the ex? I’ve wondered what my exes have said about me? I’m sure they have all said I was crazy… my honesty can certainly offend simple minded people.

The typical shitty reason I hear is “oh she was crazy”! 

When I was dating I always would ask “so why did your last relationship end?” Not only was it hilarious to hear the responses from these idiots but it also would give me insight on who they were as people. 

Relationships don’t just end because someone’s “crazy”. Reality check… it takes two. 

When I’ve been asked why a past relationships didn’t workout, depending on the length of the relationship, I would say “we grew apart” or “we just didn’t get along”. It’s completely normal to not click with someone. 

So it’s beyond me why men always say “she was crazy”. And really it makes me wonder if they are the crazy ones. 

Today one of my former male coworkers reached out to me to see how I was doing. We had a normal conversation until I asked him how things were with his long term girlfriend. They had been dating for 10 years and he never popped the question. So I asked if he had finally popped it and his response “no of course not, we broke up”. My response was oblivious, “why”? When he told me she was crazy… I flipped out. 

There’s no fucking way she’s crazy when you dated her for 10 years and after 10 years you tell me she’s crazy! Haha wtf? 

So I then reached out to her and gave her my condolences about her relationship ending and asked her the same thing… “so why did you two beak up”. Her response was much more appropriate… “we weren’t going in the same direction in life, I wanted more and he wanted less”. Well then!!!!! 

So why did he call her crazy? Could the truth be he’s crazy? Or did he drive her to the crazy edge? It takes two tango and surely not every person you’ve dated is “crazy”. And if every person you have dated is crazy then maybe it’s time to look deep within yourself. 

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Midlife crisis


People usually say your 40’s are for midlife crisis but I certainly find myself in a midlife crisis at 34!

After years of doing social work and all the darn time wasted in school, I want out. I no longer want to deal with other people’s  problems. I find myself thinking “Fuck get over your shit”. Which has lead me to my midlife crisis. 

My life is great. I have all I need and want. I live my life to the fullest but my career isn’t fulfilling me anymore. 

Growing up, I always knew I loved people and after my life experiences I knew I wanted to help and advocate for others. But now I no longer want to do that. I no longer give a fuck. I want to help my damn self. 

So here I am…going through this midlife crisis. 

Career changes are difficult. You’d think the sense of security would be all the fulfillment I need but fuck security. I want to really do what I love. I want to dedicate to my life to something but I’m unsure of what that something is! 

Maybe it’s just that I’m burnt out from trying to save the damn world. 

Social work is great and all, but the lack of appreciation from society and clients is exhausting. Here I am trying to save everyone yet I struggle with my own saving. 

I have a few people who I know, who also are feeling the exact same thing. But job security holds them back. I just don’t want to be held back any more. 

My one friend has decided to move across the world and start a new life at 34! And although that sounds so appealing for me to do, I just can’t imagine dropping my whole life and moving across the world again. I did that in my 20’s and it was beyond amazing. But now in my 30’s I want stability and job fulfillment. It almost sounds like too damn much to ask. 

I’ve explored different career paths I could take but fear holds me back. I know I’m not alone but what do I do to complete my life and live my happily ever after…. I guess it’s something I need to explore further… 

I do know is that settling, just as I’ve said is not an option for relationships, it also isn’t an option for my life… 


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Dirty 30 

My sister turned 30 a few weeks ago, and although I wanted to blog then I didn’t. So here’s a little late dirty 30 birthday wishes to my biggest fan, my best friend and my sister.

Even  though we are only 4 years apart, I feel old.
I still remember rehearsing “dance shows” for my parents and their friends that we would perform when we were little. I remember telling on her when she did something wrong just so the blame wasn’t put on me. I remember our fights growing up, most vivid being when she threw my favorite Barbie doll down the stairs because I threw her cabbage patch doll at the wall just 30 seconds before. 
Now she’s turning 30. Woah.


Turning 30 is monumental because it’s the moment where you finally are growing into the person you are meant to be. I’m not talking about where you should be, or what society says that you need to accomplish by this time. I’m talking about growing into a person that is really YOU. The girl you were in junior year and high school is long gone (I think that’s a good thing) and the experiences you’ve had as an adult are supposed to make you stronger.
I know that being in my 30’s it’s been all about discovery, settling into the body and mind that is comfortable for me. So on your birthday, my little sister, here are my wishes for you:
Enjoy the little things in life. Sometimes just hanging out and watching a good ole back in the day show is what matters. It’s about collecting memories from now on. And those memories will be the best moments of your life. 

Love and trust your family. This crazy bunch that seems like the oddest combination ever made in the history of families is the one that will be with you through thick and thin. When s**t hits the fan, we’re there. Whether we are in the same city, in different states or even in different countries, we are always connected and remain a priority.

Go after what you want and what your heart desires. Your 30’s is the time to really find out what you were meant to do with your life, believe me. If what you are doing lights you up, I’m glad you found it. If you have other dreams set for yourself, go after them, you’ll be glad you did.

Everything happens for a reason. Every experience you’ve had, whether good or bad has been for a reason. Friends have come and gone to teach you something. Every experience makes you a stronger, richer and a wiser person. No one can take that away from you.

Laugh often. Life is really, really funny. Taken too seriously, you miss out on some of the great “America’s Funniest Home Videos” footage. Laugh at yourself, with others and at situations when you can. 

And lastly love without limits. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic and I know you have too so just continue on that amazing path of love and do it without any limitations! 

Happy 30th birthday to my amazing sister. I can’t wait to see what more amazing things you’ll accomplish! Love you 😘 

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Engagement 

I’ve been MIA for a bit but here I am…. 

Engaged! 

I know I can’t believe it either. It’s shocking what can happen in a years time. Mr. Officer and I have been dating for over a year now and yes we have had the conversation in the past about moving forward in our relationship. So I wasn’t too shocked when he proposed to me. 

I was shocked that everyone knew and I had no clue when or even if it would happen. 

We were in Florida with my family and friends and as we walked down this pier he turned and asked me to marry him. I was shocked and confused. What on earth is he doing on his knees and then it all clicked. As my family and friends stood in the backround and smiled. 

I’ve never been big on marriage. I find weddings annoying. I get the purpose of them but they are just annoying. I’ve always liked simply and intimate weddings. I think personally the annoying part will be the planning. But as people have told me the stressful planning is all worth in the end. 

Growing up with parents who really just didn’t get along I use to fear marriage and relationships. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that you can pick and choice who you want and what’s acceptable to you in a relationship. 

Mr. Officer and I have a solid relationship. Of course there’s up and downs and there’s things he does that I’m like “wtf did you just say/do” but it’s all about compromise in the end. 

I’ve learned that comprise is key to any relationship and so is communication. I’ve learned that no ones perfect and if perfection is what you’re looking for then single is what you’ll be. I’ve learned that trust is important and without it nothing lasts. And lastly, most importantly I’ve learned that respect is a huge part of any relationship. Funny, a few years ago I would have said sex played all the roles in a perfect relationship but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized how much more there is to a healthy life with someone. 

No relationship is perfect and that’s why when I decided to commit to Mr. Officer I knew it would be a lifetime commitment of working hard and perfecting the love between us. 

I know he loves me and I surely love him and that my friends is why I said “YES”. 

I’m excited to start this new chapter with Mr. Officer and to see where life will lead… 

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8 months strong 

I can’t remember the last time I was able to say I was in a relationship. Since my ex of almost 9 years I haven’t really gotten into anything that I can call serious. 
It’s crazy to me that I’ve made it to 8 whole months with Mr. Officer. As we all know dating sucks. I spent most of my 20’s being single because I was not at all interested in dating and I’ve spent my 30’slooking for someone to spend my life with. 

When you’re in your 20s, deal breakers tend to be pretty superficial. It might boil down to what music they like, a dumb haircut, or a subtly annoying nervous tick. If you’re smart, you learn to ignore these things and be more open-minded. 

In your 30’s its a whole different ball game. The deal breakers change and become more serious. In your 30’s you realize, shit I can’t be alone forever and not to say that being alone is all that awful for some. 

Men and women both don’t take relationships seriously. It’s all about the hook up and that instant gratification. I look back at some of my blog posts and think,”I really went through that in dating”? Yep, I sure did. 

Mr. Officer really came out of the blue into my life. When I was putting myself back out into the dating market I was not expecting to find someone as quickly as I did. I was expecting to go through the same rollercoster ride I did before I met him. It’s still so ironic how he just came into my life, all unexpectedly. I’m not complaining, but I’m still in shock. 

Although it’s been 8 months, I can’t it’s been compete bliss, because the reality is it hasn’t. But it also hasn’t been that bad. Mr. Officer has his flaws as do I and as do we all. In the end the most important thing is weather or not we are willing to accept the flaws. Relationships take hard work and some people just aren’t cut out for that type of work. Luckily for me I found someone who is willing to put in the effort and work at it…