Family

My mom had a recent scare and it’s been a pretty scary scare.

I’ve never thought about life without my parents as I’m so use to having them and use to them being there.

This last week has been tough on me. I realized how much it’s impacted me the thought of one day having to part ways with my parents.

I’m not dependent on my parents but in a way I am. It’s just knowing they are there.

I’ve not made sense the last few days. My heads only been on one thing and I should have just taken off and gone to be with my family but I said to my myself, well I have so many other priorities. Today I realized it’s not important, any priority in life can wait. I’m not helping others when my hearts with my family. I barely made any sense in the last few days, to my friends, to my dogs, to my fiancé and I kept thinking maybe “I need to talk to someone”.

It’s insane how a scare like this can impact a person. Everyone deals differently, I’m well aware of that, but the same thought was going through my head everyday since my mom had her accident “what if I lose her and I’m not there”? I’d never forgive myself. NEVER. My moms already an emotional wreck most days but this will create more emotions then I think she’ll be able to handle and I keep thinking “am I being a good daughter”? The truth is we all have different ideas of what a perfect person is, be it a spouse, a parent, a child, a friend… we are all so different in how we think and what we expect.

I’ve spent most of my life pleasing others. Most of my life trying to be the perfect person, the perfect child, perfect worker, perfect sister, perfect friend, perfect spouse, perfect dog mom…that somewhere along me trying to achieve what I felt was perfection I lost myself. I need to find myself somehow and maybe this was the rude awakening I needed. To realize that “hey you can’t function properly when you’re in this irate state”! Which I can’t! I can’t think, do and breathe correctly as all the fears and thoughts of losing my parents cloud my head.

I should just sell everything and move back home but I’m not going to act on impulse as much as my heart wants to. I’ve decided time with family is what I need and what my heart needs. Sometimes tragedy is the breaking point in a persons life. I don’t want to know how I’d deal with tragedy as my moms situation has been enough tragedy for my heart to handle.

We all as humans deal differently. I use to be the person that kept it all together but I no longer can keep my emotions together. If I could I’d save the world but I need to save myself first…

4 rescues

I’m not sure how I got here but here I am… a dog mom to not 1 but 4 rescue dogs.

I know to some, dogs are just dogs but my dogs are my children. At 34 years old and with no human kids, my dogs have fulfilled that motherly void.

It all started 3 years ago when I dog sat our family dog Kimmy for 3 weeks. Kimmy has recently passed on but she’ll furever live in my heart. As my parents made a road trip to Florida, Mom decided that Kimmy would be great in keeping me company. At that point in my life I was unhappy and very depressed.

Kimmy the sweetest dog ever. RIP sweet girl.

I kept Kimmy for those 3 weeks and struggled to give her back. Kimmy lifted my spirits and made my life a happier place to be.

Once Kimmy left to go back to her home, I started looking for dogs of my own. I wanted to just dog sit and get that fun feeling of having a dog at home but then I decided it would be much better to have my own furry friend.

I searched and found Mason. Mason was a kill shelter boy who no one wanted. Since I was in such a low slump in my own life emotionally, I thought why not rescue this cute dog? So I did.

I told my roommates at the time that I was, “just temporarily dog sitting” to avoid paying the outrageous Pet fee my townhouse idiots where requesting, ($500 per Pet) yikes! I already had 2 cats at the time.

A few months later Mason and I moved out to our own place, thankfully avoiding the stupid pet fee.

I didn’t rescue Mason, Mason rescued me. He gave me a whole new meaning to life. He made me love life and enjoy it. Once Mason was healthy enough, I decided I wanted to rescue another dog. Along came my best sweet girl Maddie. Maddie was 9 years old and used for breeding her whole life. I adopted Maddie a few weeks before her 10th birthday. I was hesitant in adopting Maddie because she was older but I’m so glad I took that leap of love and adopted her. She’s a true blessing. Maddie IS my best girlfriend, she would do anything for me and will love me no matter what. I’ve never met such a loyal dog like she.

Once Maddie was stable I started looking again for another unwanted dog and I wanted the one NO ONE wanted. That’s how Minnie came into our fur family. Minnie, we later found out was Maddie’s daughter. Minnie, 2 years old and used for breeding with no human socialization ever. This poor dog lived two years with no hugs, kisses and slept on concrete floor while being forced to give birth and make profit to that disgusting human. Minnie is and will always be my socially awkward child. She’s a great dog but only I am lucky enough to see how great she really is. She’s a very timid dog but we understand each other.

As my 3 rescues started enjoying their lives in their furever home. I decided it was time to give back to other dogs. I didn’t want to adopt anymore. I was only looking to help other unwanted animals. Well, I became a doggy foster mom. I fostered 19 dogs in 4 months and out of the 19 dogs I kept 1. And that’s how Winston joined our fur family.

Winston is an amazing dog. I couldn’t have asked for a better dog and brother to my other 3. He’s the most gentle dog and most loving boy. Although I loved all my foster dogs, Winston just captivated my heart a little more. He fit right in and he really was meant to be with us. It was almost like Winston had already met Mason, Maddie and Minnie, like they knew each other from their past lives.

I’m sure others know how much my dogs truly mean to me as I constantly plaster their pictures all over social media daily, but really these 4 little rescues have changed my life for the better. They are truly the best dogs. I hope others would consider adopting versus buying because after all I’ve witnessed as a dog rescue mom and a dog foster mom, it breaks my heart to see so many unwanted and unloved dogs in this world. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I’m not about making the rich richer and because I’m not, adoption has been my only option. Why should I pay you, to use your dog and breed them so I can have a puppy for thousands of dollars when I can easily adopt one for a small fraction…

Mason my first love..

Maddie my second love…

Minnie my third love and my very socially awkward fur child…

Winston my foster “win” and the final completion of our fur family!

“I want a marriage not a wedding….”

Where have I been? Really I’ve been a*d*u*l*t*i*n*g. That dreaded word.

Being an adult is really not all that fun. I’d say my favorite adult years where from 18-25 where I was an adult with no real adult responsibilities. As I’ve gotten older I’ve absolutely hated this adulting bullshit.

Now that I’m engaged and soon to be a married woman I wish time could just sit still for a bit. I just want to enjoy every minute of my day and my lame ass life. Why? Because it’s moving too fast.

We bought a house two months ago. We’ve been undergoing renovations and it absolutely sucks. What’s even more sucky is not only are we stressed with home renovations but also all whilst trying to plan a wedding, trying balance our own personal and professional lives. It’s absolutely DREADFUL.

I’m totally against weddings. I find them to be a money market and I hate feeding the rich. I think weddings and marriage are no longer what they once were.

My fiancé and I have gone back and forth with “to have or not to have a wedding”. We financially aren’t prepared to pay so others can sit and eat at our expense and really our home is our priority right now.

My ideal wedding has always been something intimate just family and close friends. But it’s been almost impossible to have my ideal wedding as too many others want their own needs and desires to be fulfilled.

I’m so excited to start this next chapter of my life. Now being a homeowner and an almost married woman. I consider myself lucky to have met someone who actually wants to put up with me for the rest of my life. I’m lucky to have met someone who loves me and doesn’t care if I go on these outbursts about how annoying people and situations are. I’m lucky to have met someone who shares my same passions and desires in life. And I’m even more so lucky to have met someone who 100% supports my crazy life goals.

So why have a big wedding? Is it not to celebrate the love for two people rather then be judged by society?

As we have gone back and forth on this topic and more so me because the thought of having to put on a heavy ass dress, smile and walk about all night greeting people makes me cringe. Ive cried about it, I’ve yelled about it and I’ve gotten so angry about it, that I’ve just given up on it. Weddings are no longer about celebrating the love and life long commitment of two people vowing to be together for eternity. They are about everyone else. Every other person has an opinion of how they think “your” day should be. But they don’t realize they have no right over the menu option, the right dress, the music selection and if they don’t it becomes drama. I love my family, but I know I cannot please all of them. I’m not sure I can please most of them.

Either way a wedding is a day, marriage is forever.

Foster dog mom life 🐾

At 23 I desperately wanted a dog but I opted to adopt two very cute and sweet cats. My mom talked me out of a dog because she thought I was too young to have the responsibility. I’m glad I listened to my mom. Sometimes parents do know best.. but only sometimes 😜. 

I remember when I went to adopt my cats, the rescue didn’t want me to have them for several reasons, one being I was young and cats often get abandoned on streets when people move and the other because I was a renter. Well my mom went along with my desire to adopt the cats and adopted them under her name for me. I’ve never even had the thought of abandoning my cats. I’ve moved several times since and those girls have gone with me everywhere. 

Three years ago I wanted a dog! I felt I was ready and I had my moms blessing, finally! So I did my research and I applied through rescue groups for several different dogs, all to be denied! I was shocked I was denied, but it happened. So I did more research and I went straight to the source.. the kill shelter. I looked online and looked. I eventually found “the one”, my boy Mason! He was at a kill shelter in Alabama. I contacted a rescue group in NYC that would often times pull dogs from that particular kill shelter and I asked if they would drive Mason to NYC, on their next trip.  They agreed! 

It was Good Friday and I asked my mom to go pick him up for me. As my mom and sister drove to NYC during rush hour to pick up my sweet boy Mason, I was beyond excited to be a fur mom. Not only was Mason rescued by me but he was also rescued by his now fur grandma and fur auntie. 

They brought him home and a day later I met my mom and picked him up! He was all mine. My very first grown up dog. I knew I loved Mason from the day I laid eyes on him via the kill shelter website. Mason was due to be euthanized at noon on Thursday April 2! I’m so glad I took a leap of faith and rescued him. 

Words could never explain how much I love him. I later found out more about Mason’s life. He was dumped in the middle of the road and found. Luckily he was found. The thought that someone would just dump him like trash was beyond me. Since adopting Mason I’ve adopted two other dogs from a rescue. Yes I was finally approved! 

Because of my three rescue dogs and their stories, I decided I wanted to do more and save more lives!! So I’ve since become a very full time dog foster mom. My life gets crazy sometimes and sometimes I doubt myself and think “am I cut out for this”? Well yes I am. I’ve been fostering for a few months now and I’ve had 10 plus dogs come in and get adopted. It’s always super difficult for me to let them go because every foster dog has a story and every foster dog brings a little more love and little more happiness into my life. I absolutely love what I do and I do it with so much pride and joy. It’s difficult to explain how a rescue dog is different then a bought dog but they are very different. Rescue dogs love you a little bit more. It’s like they know  you rescued them. The reason I know and say this is because I’ve known people who have bought and then decided to rescue and they themselves have told me the love is completely different. 

Being a dog mom and a foster dog mom is amazing but it’s not easy. No job to love and let go ever is….  

#savealife #adopt

What do women want…

I’m sure as a man you’ve asked yourself the question… what do women want?

It’s not easy to please a woman.

But who wants easy?

Pleasing a woman isn’t just about catering to her every desire and need. So much more is involved…

Women want: 

RESPECT. In a society where respect is almost nonexistent it’s important to have respect in your intimate relationship. Working with teen girls I’ve seen how they don’t expect respect and no women or girl should ever be disrespected and be okay with it. Respect your women and she will respect you so much more. 

SEX. Yes yes women love sex just as much as you do. Sex falls into place when other needs are being met. You can’t have sex with someone who just disrespected you, now can you? Well if you can, I’m sorry! I can’t. Woman fall in love through their ears. Be intimate. INTIMACY isn’t always sex. Holding hands, a shoulder rub, are just a couple of intimate ways to keep that flame alive. 

ROMANCE. Duh who doesn’t like romance? Well romance is dying trait. Not enough of it in this fast passed world. Date nights are crucial. A great idea is to make a date night jar, you each write fun easy dates on a small piece of paper, stick them in a Mason jar and tadahh you have a date night jar, filled with ideas from you both!! Pick one weekly and DO IT. I can’t tell you how many women have complained to me that the romance is dead. I’m sure it is but as two people in love you should remember what love felt like in those first few months of your relationship and go back to that place every once in awhile. 

COMMUNICATION. Women are naturally vocal creatures. We know you love us but tell us because it’s so nice to hear it every once in awhile. Words of affirmation are key. Because when a women feels sexy, wanted and appreciated then it means more sex maybe involved. It’s a win win. 

CONSISTENCY. Well yea, duh? Be consistent. Don’t just do something for a week and then fall back into old habits. Who wants that?

And lastly my personal favorite: 

HUMOR. Make us laugh! Simple. Laugher is important because as life gets busy you want to rush home to the one that makes you smile and laugh. Men who can laugh at themselves and have a sense of humor are SEXY to women. Guys who take themselves too seriously are not sexy and bring everyone down.

Relationships require work on both parts. Believe me no one is perfect. You can’t spend your life looking for perfection, the only perfection you should find is within yourself. 

Consider this your cheat sheet for all you men out there. You’re welcome!

Mothers Day

I’d like to start by saying…Happy Mother’s Day to the amazing mamas out there! I hope your day was as wonderful as you all are to your children. 

At 34, with no real human children I’ve come to the realization that I may never be a mom to my own children one day. Sounds sad doesn’t it? Well it isn’t!! It isn’t because on this Mother’s Day I may not be a mom to human children of my own but I am a mother to three amazing dogs and two cats (can’t forget them) who I love beyond words. 

My pets are my children. Without me they wouldn’t be fed, clothed, bathed, walked or taken to doctor visits. 

On Facebook I saw many, many, many, nasty posts about dog moms not being “real moms”. The truth is we aren’t “real moms” to human children but we are in many other ways. What I thought was even more interesting was that here are these awful “adults” making negative, hateful remarks on social media but my “clients” (all children) all wished me a happy fur mama mothers days! So it goes to show how adults create evil adults. Children have more respect and understanding then most “adults” think they do. 

My pets are my world and without them I would never have learned real compassion, real love, and most importantly real happiness. I’m a true and avid animal lover, always have been and it took me awhile to build my little animal family….. but I wouldn’t trade it for the world because they are my whole world and my whole heart. 

So just enjoy being a mom weather you’re a mom to biological children, a step mom, a foster mom or a fur baby mom. Just enjoy it. Everyday is your day. Without our two or four legged children our lives would be miserable just as it is for those hateful “adults” who hide behind their social media!

My world! 🙌🏽🐱🐶

Finding love ❤️


The journey of finding the one true love is not an easy journey. Most people are lucky and find it right away but others take a lifetime. 

Today an older friend of mine was talking about finding love. The older you get the more difficult it becomes. Why is that? Maybe people are too set in their ways or maybe your standards are too high the older you get. 

The truth is finding love at any age is difficult. In your 20s want you consider to be love may not be what love is to you in 30s or even in your 40s. 

For me finding love was a very difficult and a bumpy journey. There were too many frogs and not enough princes. 

Real love is something we do. It is not a feeling; it is not primarily (or even secondarily) something we feel. Real love is about being loving much more than being loved.

But even when you find love. It’s still a job within itself. You work to find love and then work even harder to keep it. Who ever said love was easy was clearly not in love. 

Because real love is effortful, real love is often difficult; real love takes work, requires attention, dedication, requires inner work—requires us to work on ourselves and in many ways significantly rewire parts of our self. And this is an ongoing and lengthy process.

What I learned in my process of finding love was to work on myself. Particularly my inner self. It’s all about learning to allow love in and allowing yourself to be vulnerable… 

Kindness

The world we live in today is far from kind. People are very self involved and there are very few people who are willing to help. 

With that said this weekend a kind act was done. 

Being in the social work field my kindness gets over looked everyday. Everyday I deal with horrible parents, needy adults and children who have no sense of respect. It’s actually quite sad to see how parents choices can totally mess up a little living creature, to the point where I’m like,”how the heck did you create this”? This holds true not just for children but also for animals. 

In the last few years I’ve found out how much I truly love animals. I’ve always loved animals but after I adopted Mason my first dog from a high kill shelter, I was in complete shock at how the human race is the most disgusting race. Mason had no trust in humans, he was extremely underweight, had black teeth and a fractured leg. Once I was able to get Mason back to a healthy dog he started to trust humans again, got to his healthy weight and he was running around on a healthy leg. It wasn’t easy and it took lots of time, patience and money, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.  I would rescue him over and over again, because he brought me something I never knew was capable…. unconditionally love. 

Last week I came across a young girl, 18 years old selling two dogs on Facebook. I couldn’t believe it but when I went Friday night to see the dogs it was almost as if I saw Mason all over again. I told the young girl that I would get back to her. That night I slept nothing. I couldn’t stop thinking  about how sick the dogs looked. She also had mentioned the dogs had been sleeping in the car…. as she slept with her family in a hotel room. I was beyond shocked that this 18 year old girl and her mother would allow this. On Saturday I drove by the hotel and the dogs were in the hot car, as the family was cooling off in the pool. It was close to 90 degrees on Saturday. I immediately called animal control and after hours of waiting around they never showed up. So once again the human race let down these poor animals. 

I then contacted the rescue group where I adopted my other two dogs and they were so kind to take in these dogs. 

I messaged the family back and gave them their $200 as I drove two hours with the dogs to drop them off at the rescue group. 

I’m beyond greatful that the rescue group, For the Love of Poodles, took in these two loving dogs. 

The dogs were so well behaved and so loving towards me and my fiancé…. it was almost as if they knew they were being rescued. I was greatful to have met them and even more greatful they allowed me to help. 

I can’t say how much I really and truly appreciate this rescue group that I came across almost two years and where I rescued my two favorite girlfriends Maddie and Minnie. For the Love of Poodles, really does a great job with their animals and I can honestly say they go above and beyond to help every animal that comes through their doors. 

If you can find in your heart, please donate to this amazing rescue… 

http://www.fortheloveofpoodlesrescuerva.com/donate.html

Two top picturs are of Blue and two bottom pictures are of Casper after they were rescued and all showered… so fresh so clean. Good luck to these sweet boys….if you’re interested in adopting a best friend please check out http://www.fortheloveofpoodlesrescuerva.com/. 

In the end I can’t keep the two dogs that I saved from the horrible life they were living but I can sleep at night knowing they are safe and I know to them my kind act did not go unnoticed…. 

#adoptdontshop #adoptionisthebestoption 

The bad really bad date..

I use to blog about my horrid dating life because I just couldn’t believe how fucked up men where. When I was dating it almost felt like every date was a nightmare. Now that I’m engaged, I’m glad to no longer be living those nightmares. 

My friends however haven’t been as lucky as I was to have found love. 

Yesterday I was talking to my friend J. I was having a crisis Friday night and needed some advice from her. Little did I know she was having her own crisis. We finally had a chance to catch up yesterday and she filled me in.

She’s been dating this guy, let’s call him Don the dummy, for about a month now. Friday night they planned to meet. Since J and Don live far they met in the between from where they both live. 

As she’s sitting there enjoying her date he decided he had to go to the bathroom. While Don was doing is dirty shit in the bathroom J was approached by some girl. Oh no! 

This girl calmly explained to J  she has been dating Don for 4 months. Yes 4 fucking months!! J was mortified, just as I was as she was telling me the story. I couldn’t fucking believe it!!!! 

J was smart, walked away and decided to leave the dirty work to Don the dummy’s 4 month girl, who clearly handled it. As J walked away she overheard Don’s 4 month girl yelling at him and threatening to smack to him. 

I’ve had my share of horrible dates and horrible men but this, this tops it! Don was a big fucking dummy to suggest that he and J meet up in the same town where his 4 month girl lives!!! So not only is Don a horrible playa but he is the poster man of what a true DUMMY is. 

I told J not to give up because prior to meeting my amazing fiancé, I use to go on horrible those dates and I would just continue to put myself out there. Dating sucks. It’s slim picking in the ocean of men. J will certainly continue on her dating adventure because after all the bad fish, eventually a good fish will bite and you can ring him in!! 

Feyonce

Today I was talking to a friend about life. Our goals and our desires. Both being in our 30s it’s not as easy to just pick up and leave to start over somewhere magical, as it was in your 20s. 
I have moved A SHIT TON throughout my life. At 16 I moved to Portugal.  At 19 I packed up and moved to England for college. At 23 I moved back to New Jersey and at 29 I packed up and moved to D.C.  I literally knew no one. I packed up my small ass car, filled with my belongings, my two cats and I drove to find adventure. 

I had no job and no damn goal set. I just needed the change and the adventure. 

It wasn’t until after 4 years of living in D.C. that I was able to find a reason to stay. My amazing fiancé. I’ve stuck around D.C. because love has kept me here. 

A couple years ago I blogged about my awful dating experiences and now I can blog about LOVE!!! 

Prior to meeting my fiancé I had the adventure itch, to pack up again and move and I was close to doing it but, then I met him. 

I’ll never forget our first date. I was sick and tired of dating these fucking losers that I really had no expectations with him. I was like, whatever just another date and another blog post. 

My mom knew I was getting pretty tired of scrummaging through the garbage of men that kept coming my way and her advice was to have no expectations going into any date. That actually worked because here I am now, engaged to my BFF. 

Our first date I had him come over to have wine and pizza. Clearly having random men come to my house isn’t a norm for me. I use to be a very cautious dater. Men are crazy. The date was one of the best dates I ever had. It was relaxed and we were able to actually talk with no distractions. We got to know each other and it was like we never not knew each other. We clicked instantly. Maybe it was the relaxed senerio, maybe the wine or maybe it was just fate. 

Whatever it was it’s been great and I’m lucky to have found someone like him to support my neurotic behaviors, my life goals and love me completely for who I am. 

With my fiancé I have learned that love isn’t about wanting to change or mold the other person, it’s about really, truly and unconditionally accepting someone for who they are, flaws and all. I’ve learned that from now on it’s about growing together, adventures and all!